Illusions (25/28) - PG

      Barbara Lavelle (blavelle@sherbtel.net)
      Sun, 11 Feb 2001 13:16:30 -0600

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      --------
      Chapter Twenty-five
      
      As the days past, Duncan often caught Caitlin watching him, gauging his
      mood. Her eyes filled with questions he knew she was hesitant to ask.
      
      Suggesting they take Tanya for a walk along the lake shore, Duncan
      thought it might encourage Caitlin to ask what was on her mind.
      
      They were quietly walking through the woods holding hands, when she
      caught him completely off guard by asking about Tessa. "How long were
      you and Tessa together?"
      He knew it was inevitable that she would ask,  but the question still
      brought a twinge of pain when he heard it.
      
      Pausing a moment, he glanced at Caitlin then continued walking.
      "Thirteen years."
      
      "Had you ever had a relationship that lasted that long before?"
      
      "No. Tessa was a very unique person."
      
      Continuing to walk, encouraged by his willingness to answer more
      questions, Caitlin decided to ask the one question that had been
      foremost on her mind.
      
      "My father never mentioned any children, did you and Tessa decide not to
      have children because of the life you lead? Have you ever had children?"
      
      Duncan stopped walking. Turning, he placed his hands on her shoulders,
      and turned her to face him, making sure he had her full attention. "No,
      I've never had children. It's not possible for Immortals to have
      children. It's another price we pay for being Immortal. Maybe it's for
      the best. Think about it Caitlin, we'd have to keep moving before people
      noticed that the children were aging but, I wasn't. I'd be their father,
      then their older brother, then their uncle or some other relative that
      would explain the family resemblance." He couldn't bring himself to say
      out loud, the unspeakable agony he would suffer as he watched them grow
      old and die, while he stayed the same. Or having them used as hostages
      or bait by some Immortal eager to take his head. Enough people had
      suffered because of him. He promised himself never again.
      
      Gazing up at him, Caitlin saw the pain, regret and acceptance that
      lingered there. "And Tessa was satisfied with your life as it was. She
      never regretted not having a child. A part of you that she could love
      and cherish if anything happened to you."
      
      Duncan looked away, not wanting to think that Tessa was anything but
      happy with their life together. He had offered to let her go for her
      sake several times, and he would have, if that was what she wanted. But,
      she chose to stay. And he was grateful for the time they had together.
      "No. For her what we had together was enough. I told you, she was a very
      unique person."
      
      That was hard for Caitlin to understand. She had always dreamed of
      having a family. "But, Duncan, that's so sad. You'd make a wonderful
      father. The way you took care of Richie. You were as close to being a
      father and son as you could be. My father wrote about it in his journal.
      Where is Richie now, do you still hear from him?"
      
      When he didn't answer and turned and walked away, Caitlin walked up
      behind him and felt him flinch as she touched his shoulder.
      
      "Duncan?"
      
      "Richie- died." He said hoarsely, and continued to keep his back turned
      towards her, so she wouldn't see the guilt and remorse that filled his
      eyes as the tears formed and threatened to spill.
      
      "Oh, Duncan, no. Was he killed by another Immortal?"
      
      Shaking his head was all he could manage, before he choked out the one
      syllable answer. "Yes!"
      
      Feeling the pain that radiated from him, Caitlin laid her cheek against
      his back and wrapped her arms around his waist, and hugged him tightly.
      "I'm sorry, Duncan. I didn't know. I didn't mean to cause you so much
      pain by asking about Tessa and Richie. Please, forgive me!"
      
      Turning, Duncan slipped his arm over her shoulder and brought her around
      to face him. Bending his head, he kissed her and took all the comfort
      she had to offer.
      
      Caitlin still didn't understand about her father's involvement or what
      Watcher's actually were, but she knew again for now she'd have to let it go.
      
      --------

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