Awakening (2/3)

      Kay Kelly (wilusa@earthlink.net)
      Mon, 17 Nov 2003 15:27:46 -0500

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      --------
      II
      
      
      By nine o'clock MacLeod was sprawled in a chair on the
      dimly lit barge, testing his resolve not to drink. If he
      started, he'd probably drink himself into a stupor. And
      that was one habit he didn't want to form.
      
      The din outside was unceasing, though mercifully
      distant. Bursts of light at the portholes told him not all
      the fireworks were being saved till midnight.
      
      Could these rowdies possibly be the same ones who'd
      been at it all day? He pictured hordes of them
      collapsing in the streets, and more hordes appearing,
      carelessly treading on the fallen.
      
      **Battle raged around him. Blinded by snow, he
      struggled to carry a wounded man behind the lines to
      some healer named Darius. Wincing whenever he
      stepped on the snow-covered dead and dying...**
      
      He grunted, hitched himself upright in the chair, and
      tried to banish the memory.
      
      Only to hear a blast that sounded uncomfortably like
      cannon fire.
      
      //I'm too old. Too many memories, ghosts in every
      corner.//
      
      Too old...yes, that was part of his problem. Champion
      of the millennium that was ending, he was one with it,
      heart and soul. He had fulfilled his life's mission by
      routing Ahriman, preserving the world for future
      generations. But in so doing, he had received a wound
      that would never heal.
      
      All that remained for him now was to meet his heir...
      his deliverer. The mystery-shrouded Immortal
      innocent who would--if history repeated itself--receive
      his Quickening, and take his place in the eternal fray.
      
      
      
      
      
      That thought impelled him, finally, to open a bottle of
      Scotch.
      
      He poured some into a glass, sipped it cautiously, and
      set the glass down. Closed his eyes and let the liquor
      run slowly down his throat, its taste taking him back
      to the Scotland of his youth.
      
      **He stood again in a foul-smelling, grime-encrusted
      cave, straining to see through the greasy smoke that
      rose from a peat fire. Haze distorted the features of his
      host, an unkempt, unwashed hermit. But there was no
      mistaking the madness in those glittering eyes. "I have
      waited in this place for six hundred years, for you," the
      hermit intoned in a singsong voice...**
      
      MacLeod came back to the present with a start, heard
      a whimper escape his lips.
      
      But the memory would not be denied. Hunched over in
      shock, he relived the hermit's ghastly suicide, the
      Quickening forced on him before he understood what
      he was. For the first time, he truly grieved for that
      ravaged man who'd been required to outlive all he
      knew, linger through six centuries of an alien era, to
      await his heir.
      
      //The Champion of the dying millennium should die
      with it.//
      
      MacLeod examined that thought, turning it over and
      over in his mind. His promise to Amanda... No, he
      would never break it, never throw his life away
      without a fight.
      
      But he sensed that life was meant to end with the
      millennium. Not his choice, his destiny.
      
      He took a long, slow sip of Scotch, settled back, and
      waited.
      
      
      
      ***
      
      
      
      //Immortal. On the dock.//
      
      MacLeod took a deep, steadying breath.
      
      The sensation was not followed by footsteps on the
      gangplank or a cheery greeting. Not Methos, then, or
      any other friend.
      
      He took up his sword and went on deck.
      
      And cursed himself for having sampled that whiskey.
      He was far from drunk, yet his perceptions were
      strangely altered. The wave-lapped barge had drifted
      into a surreal realm: he faced not the city of Paris but
      inky blackness, the void beyond the stars. The cries in
      the distance had become the anguished wails of lost
      souls.
      
      Then a burst of fireworks seared the sky, grotesque
      flowers of light strewn on a cosmic graveyard. He saw
      that there was indeed a dock at the end of his
      gangplank. And on it a hooded, cowled figure, a shadow
      solidifying into substance and form. Sword held aloft,
      stained crimson by the unearthly light.
      
      //Death himself...?//
      
      He fought down the superstitious dread that seized
      him. //This is my heir, as guileless as I was in 1625.//
      As night descended again, he announced with his usual
      firmness, "I'm Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod."
      
      The response was low, unsettling...*laughter*. Then a
      grating voice out of the darkness: "What, not expecting
      me?"
      
      MacLeod's flesh crawled. Coming from everywhere and
      nowhere, it seemed the voice of every male Immortal
      he had ever fought. No, every male Immortal he had
      ever known.
      
      He was about to say, "In a way, I have been expecting
      you."
      
      But before he could speak, his visitor snapped, "Have
      you forgotten Pellinore?"
      
      //Pellinore?// MacLeod recoiled as if he'd been struck.
      For some reason, he hadn't expected the heir to bear a
      grudge, have an agenda of his own.
      
      He thought furiously. Pellinore? The name seemed
      familiar... No, surely not from personal acquaintance.
      But he knew it was a masculine name, not a place. Was
      this Immortal saying he was Pellinore, or seeking to
      avenge a friend by that name? //Either way, I should
      remember.//
      
      Again, the voice that was all voices. "Come on,
      Pellinore wasn't so long ago."
      
      //He isn't Pellinore. It's revenge.//
      
      Feeling faintly ridiculous, MacLeod said, "Uh, excuse
      me.  I'm willing to fight you. But...I don't think I've
      ever killed an Immortal named Pellinore."
      
      More brittle, mirthless laughter. "For once, you're
      telling the truth. You didn't kill Pellinore."
      
      Then why--?
      
      "A bit fuddled, are we? I thought I might find you
      prematurely celebrating."
      
      "I haven't been celebrating."
      
      "No? That's too bad. You won't get another
      opportunity." Naked hate in the voice now. "I'm
      sending you to the pits of hell tonight."
      
      Resentment stirred in MacLeod's breast, and he
      tightened his grip on his sword. "That may not be as
      easy as you think."
      
      "Don't kid yourself. I'm more than the equal of
      Pellinore." That name again. "I'm just more patient.
      You didn't expect me to wait so long, did you? But this
      is the way it should be. Deadline staring us in the face.
      One roll of the dice, winner take all."
      
      //He's insane//, MacLeod thought suddenly. //And
      despite the modern jargon, probably older than I am.
      His friend had a medieval name.
      
      This, the next Champion? Already old, bitter, mad as a
      hatter? He won't stand a chance against Ahriman.//
      
      In an attempt to interject some reason into the
      discussion, he said, "Could you at least tell me what you
      think I did to Pellinore?"
      
      His answer was a near-howl of outrage. "What I think
      you did? Are you going to insult my intelligence by
      denying it?"
      
      "I'm starting to think you don't have any intelligence."
      He'd had enough of this. "If you want to fight, quit
      talking and come aboard. The light's better here."
      
      //Actually, the light's terrible, but I'll have an
      advantage because I'm used to the motion of the barge.
      And my eyes are accustomed to the dark now, so you've
      lost that edge.//
      
      Primed for a fight, MacLeod was ready for anything.
      
      Except what his opponent said next.
      
      "Thanks for the invitation, Ahriman."
      
      
      
      
      
      *"Ahriman?"* Reality was skittering away from him;
      the deck seemed unstable beneath his feet. "I'm Duncan
      MacLeod--"
      
      "Drop the act, Ahriman!" His challenger leapt onto the
      gangplank, revealing himself as a black-clad man of
      average height and build. "Are you forgetting I'm the
      one person who knows Duncan MacLeod is dead?" He
      flung back his hood.
      
      RICHIE.
      
      
      
      
      
      MacLeod fell heavily to his knees, and the sword
      dropped from his nerveless hand.
      
      //It can't be. A trick of the light, or the lack of light...//
      
      The other man reached him in one bound, kicked the
      katana the length of the deck. In an instant his sword
      was at MacLeod's throat. MacLeod peered up at him.
      
      Long, matted hair of indeterminate color. A tangle of
      beard. Sunken eyes that blazed defiance, set in a pale,
      careworn face.
      
      But despite the cruel changes, unmistakably Richie
      Ryan.
      
      //Avenging spirit//, MacLeod thought wildly. //Yes,
      Richie, take me. I don't deserve to live.//
      
      Then another thought intruded. //No avenging spirit
      would think I was Ahriman.//
      
      Richie was blinking at him in amazement. "You really
      didn't know who I was till you saw my face."
      Amazement flared into anger, and the sword quivered
      dangerously. "You counted me out from the start. And
      you didn't know what I was talking about--meaning
      you never even bothered to learn Pellinore's name!"
      
      "Richie." Dazed and floundering, MacLeod clung to his
      one shred of certainty. "I'm not Ahriman. I'm Duncan
      MacLeod."
      
      *"I received Duncan MacLeod's Quickening!"*
      
      
      
      
      
      The truth crashed in on MacLeod with the force of a
      tidal wave.
      
      A part of him reeled at the implications. The
      viciousness of it, the sadism.
      
      But another part murmured, //Of course. I should
      have known. Why would Ahriman settle for torturing
      one Immortal when he could torture two?//
      
      It was stunningly clear now. He himself had received a
      false Quickening. He'd thought of that possibility at the
      time, prayed it might be so. But then, in his
      overwrought state, he had despaired when a "living"
      Richie turned out to be Ahriman. Even though he had
      already seen evidence Ahriman could be in two or
      more places at once.
      
      All those months. Those hurtful thoughts in his mind,
      not Richie's at all.  And he had "lost contact" because
      he'd defeated Ahriman!
      
      "Listen to me, Richie." //Speak quickly but calmly. He's
      not insane. He'll listen to reason.// "You received a false
      Quickening. You believe you killed Duncan MacLeod in
      May '97, right? At the old racetrack? I am MacLeod--
      and I thought I had killed you! Ahriman played the
      same fiendish trick on both of us. Probably at opposite
      ends of the track."
      
      Richie was paying attention, but MacLeod didn't like
      the look on his face. Nevertheless, he plunged ahead. "I
      can guess what you did after that. You didn't feel you
      could face anyone you knew, ever again. So you buried
      the body in secret and fled Paris. I would have done the
      same thing, but Joe and Methos walked in on me.
      
      ³The Watchers have never picked you up again, have
      they? Doesn't that seem strange, after all this time?
      They weren't looking for you, because Joe had reported
      you dead!"
      
      "Bravo." Under the ragged beard, Richie's mouth curled
      in a sneer. "Great story. I have to admire your powers
      of invention."
      
      "Richie, I'm not--"
      
      "First, about the Watchers," Richie said with
      maddening deliberateness. "They didn't pick me up
      because I'm one of the few Immortals who know about
      them and consciously avoid them. And I've changed
      my appearance. 'Nuff said.
      
      "But beyond that..." His voice sank to a deadly hiss.
      "You don't understand, Ahriman. It's no use lying to
      me. I *know*. I know what happened a thousand years
      ago."
      
      "A...thousand years ago?" MacLeod had learned
      virtually nothing about that fight against Ahriman.
      His attempts to access the hermit's Quickening had
      been fruitless--no surprise, after the passage of so many
      years. He and the Watchers had unearthed some
      information about earlier eras, but not that one.
      
      Richie had devoted more time to the search, he
      realized. He'd been needlessly poring over musty
      records two and a half years after the battle was won.
      
      "Do you even remember Oriant's name?" Richie's tone
      was withering. "He was the Champion. And you, you
      bastard, tricked his best friend Pellinore into killing
      him.
      
      "But then Pellinore found out what happens if you get
      rid of the Champion. You assume his identity. After the
      turn of the millennium you'd be all-powerful, right?
      *Truly* immortal in the form of a respected human,
      and able to morph at will. Your first priority would
      probably be to kill all the Immortals.
      
      "But if you 'win' too early, you're at risk. You have to
      take the Champion's form then, or never. If you keep it
      a certain number of days, you're stuck in it till the
      millennium. And during that time, the body can be
      killed by beheading like any Immortal's. Meaning you
      lose after all."
      
      //That's why he's so confidently standing over me with
      a sword. Oh God, no, no...//
      
      "You underestimated Pellinore. Must have been as
      cocky then as you were this time. So he caught you off
      guard and took your head. He was never really sane
      again, never recovered from his killing of Oriant...but
      at least he had the satisfaction of sending you back
      where you belong. Just like I will."
      
      "Pellinore was the hermit," MacLeod whispered.
      
      And thought grimly, //Sophie Baines did say every
      Champion has to find his own way.
      
      But now, even though the world is safe, Ahriman may
      score a terrible victory in the end. If Richie takes my
      head and receives my actual Quickening, he'll know
      what he's done. How can he possibly cope with that,
      after all he's been through already?//
      
      "This time is different, Richie. Ahriman tricked both of
      us, and I defeated him over two years ago." He groped
      frantically. "Consider this. I've never seen you with
      hair that long--and you've never seen Duncan MacLeod
      with hair this short. If I were Ahriman, wouldn't I
      appear to you as a MacLeod looking exactly as you
      remember him?"
      
      "You're a demon, not a ghost." For the moment, Richie
      was savoring his distress. "It only shows that your
      tastes are different from Mac's. You didn't recognize me
      till I was practically on top of you. Anyway, I don't
      think you *can* magically add inches to your hair
      right now."
      
      MacLeod tried again. "Okay. You think I'm a demon,
      and I've been impersonating Duncan MacLeod for three
      and a half years. Do you really believe I could have
      fooled Joe Dawson all that time? Methos? Amanda?"
      
      Richie's sardonic smile faded. "I have only your word
      that any of them are still alive. And I'm not going to
      stop now to find out. Besides," he added thoughtfully,
      "I believe you could have clouded their minds. I'm the
      only one you can't deceive--because I have the
      Champion's Quickening."
      
      //Perfect.// MacLeod clutched at another straw. "The
      Quickening. Richie, if you believe you have Duncan
      MacLeod's Quickening, you must have tried to make
      contact. Think about it. What did you find? Wasn't it
      out of character?" //Please, God, let him realize what
      I did...//
      
      But Richie was shaking his head. "No," he said softly.
      "I found understanding, forgiveness. Though it didn't
      help me forgive myself.
      
      "And also--mostly--I found grief. Grief that by
      accidentally killing the Champion, I had doomed the
      world. That almost did me in."
      
      Tears stung MacLeod's eyes. //Damn. Ahriman played
      him like a fiddle. I'd like to think that if he had really
      killed me, I wouldn't have communicated a defeatist
      attitude. But I can't convince him it wasn't me. What
      Ahriman gave him wasn't as obviously "off" as hatred
      would have been.//
      
      "Richie!" Desperate now. "Doesn't it seem unlikely
      Ahriman would fall into the same trap, let himself be
      defeated the same way, twice in a row?"
      
      "I'm getting bored with your games," Richie said
      ominously. "But I'll go round the mulberry bush once
      more.
      
      "*You* never expected me to learn anything about last
      time. If you didn't know Pellinore's name, I'm sure you
      didn't know Mac had received his Quickening.
      
      "As it turned out, that Quickening didn't do me any
      good. Pellinore was so ashamed of having killed Oriant
      that he suppressed his memories, even if he was
      consciously trying to pass them on. But I knew from
      Mac that he'd lived as a hermit in Scotland for six
      hundred years before he killed himself in 1625. I took it
      from there.
      
      "Guess you didn't know much about me, either. Richie
      Ryan, burglar extraordinaire--especially after I picked
      up some tips from Mac's friend Amanda. I'm mostly
      retired these days. But I figured a medieval type like
      Pellinore would have told his whole story, once, to his
      confessor. And any priest worth his salt would have
      convinced the guy to let him leave a record for the
      Church.
      
      "Found what I was looking for in the most secret files of
      the Vatican. Like I said, burglar extraordinaire."
      
      //Oh, Richie. You should have been the Champion. All
      that effort...an approach I never thought of, even
      when I confided my own secrets to Father Beaufort.
      But all for nothing. You're going to have your heart
      broken, your spirit broken.//
      
      Richie's sword caressed his neck. The sword he had
      given him and thought buried with him, the
      magnificent blade of Graham Ashe. "You never worried
      about me at all, did you? Because you knew how much
      I loved Duncan MacLeod. You thought I'd seek out the
      nearest Immortal to kill me--and he'd be no threat to
      you because he'd be screwed up by getting my
      Quickening along with Mac's. Or else I'd just head for
      the nearest railroad track.
      
      "I almost did. But then I decided to fight. To go down, if
      I had to, with honor. At least in that small way, to be
      worthy of my teacher.
      
      "And now"--a bleak, twisted smile--"you're the one who's
      going down."
      
      MacLeod was lost in a morass of recrimination. //I've
      been a fool, wallowing in depression and self-pity. I had
      no earthly reason to believe my "heir" was destined to
      kill me, now or ever. Pellinore just happened to be
      psychic. He wasn't even the original Champion!
      
      I should have been using my wits. Why didn't I see
      through that false Quickening? If only I'd searched for
      Richie, found him before he found me...//
      
      Too late, too late.
      
      He took a deep breath--//not many left//--and focused
      on the present.
      
      //He's going to kill me. I can't prevent that.
      
      But I can do everything in my power to save him.//
      
      "Richie." He gasped as the sword brushed him again. "I
      won't argue any more. But please, can I have a minute
      or two to prepare myself? Right here...I won't move."
      
      Richie snorted. "Oh, this I have to see. Are you going to
      pretend to pray?"
      
      "Think what you will," MacLeod said wearily.
      
      "Go ahead, but don't take too long. I know what I'm
      doing. I won't *let* you take too long."
      
      MacLeod looked up into the granite-hard face. One last
      look.
      
      //I don't need to pray. All I could have prayed for, I've
      already been given. You, alive.//
      
      Then he closed his eyes. If they opened again, he'd be
      past knowing.
      
      There was no point in trying to disguise his
      Quickening. He almost certainly couldn't do it. Even if
      he could, Richie would be bound to run into Joe or
      someone else who'd tell him what had really happened.
      
      No, the situation called for honesty. And that was no
      problem. Just still the turmoil in his mind, and use his
      last thoughts to emphasize what he most wanted his
      friend to know.
      
      //Richie...this is really me. I can't prevent your
      knowing that, and I'm sorry for the pain it's going to
      cause you.
      
      But you mustn't despair, and you mustn't blame
      yourself. Ahriman caused all this, not either of us. We
      both slipped up three years ago, each thought we had
      killed the other--and easily could have. I'm guessing
      Ahriman didn't let you kill me because he knew that
      would give you Pellinore's Quickening, and didn't let
      me kill you because he wanted to torment both of us.
      Tonight, the only reason I was in no danger of
      mistaking you for Ahriman was that I knew I had
      already defeated him.
      
      If we weren't capable of making mistakes--even tragic
      ones--we wouldn't be human, Richie. And then we
      wouldn't be able to relate to mortals at all, wouldn't be
      able to share the wonderful loves and friendships we do
      with them.
      
      If one of us has to die before this is over, it's infinitely
      preferable that it be me. I've had a long life, over four
      hundred years. A wealth of experiences.
      
      One of my most treasured experiences was finding you.
      I've never put this into words, Richie, but I love you.
      When I was young, I dreamed of the strong sons I'd
      have. And all those dreams are fulfilled, a hundred
      times over, in you. No Immortal has ever been prouder
      of a student, no parent prouder of a child.
      
      I want you to have my sword. I know you won't feel
      comfortable using it, at least right away. And your
      own is just as good. But keep it. Someday, maybe
      centuries from now, you'll know in your heart that you
      should either begin carrying it, or give it to a special
      student of your own.//
      
      He paused to collect his thoughts, and found himself
      wondering whether the blow had already fallen.
      Perhaps death was a smooth, painless transition?
      
      If he was still alive, he was too deep in an altered state
      of consciousness to think of trying to open his eyes.
      Instead, he peered into the darkness that waited to
      embrace him. And saw, or thought he saw...
      
      //Tessa? Tessa, I didn't kill him! I can face you now...//
      
      No! He pulled back from the vision, real or imagined.
      He might still be influencing the Quickening. Think of
      Richie, only of Richie.
      
      //Richie, I repeat, you mustn't blame yourself.
      Everything is all right now. For the first time in years,
      everything is truly all right.
      
      I believe a part  of me will travel on--be reunited,
      somewhere, with Tessa and Darius and Fitz. But
      another part of me will remain with you. You'll always
      be able to feel my love, my pride.
      
      It's important that you go on living, my son. Living,
      dreaming, working to build a better world. I want you
      to appreciate, for both of us, all the glories of this
      universe that's unfolding. Live for millennia, Richie!
      Journey to the stars! You'll be taking a part of me with
      you. I want you to take me to the stars!
      
      And never, never waste valuable years of your life
      grieving for the people and things that have to be left
      behind. Especially not for the part of me you're leaving
      behind. There's no need to grieve. I feel only peace and
      joy, the purest joy I've ever known...//
      
      A sound.
      
      There had been a background cacophony all along,
      noise he could accept and ignore. This was different.
      Close at hand. Something...metal? Clattering on a
      wooden surface?
      
      Directly in front of him, a dull thud. //Could I hear my
      own head falling? No, that makes no sense at all.//
      
      Headless or not, he felt himself toppling forward. Into
      someone's arms.
      
      And then--was it all in his mind?--the night exploded
      in a riot of bells, horns, sirens and rocket blasts.
      
      It was like...
      
      Like...
      
      Like midnight on New Year's Eve.
      
      --------

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