- Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]
- Previous message: Dawn341@aol.com: "XOVER: Going Home Again - part 6 of 7"
Silly Stories with Methos (1/1)
Brie Alsbury (Lilkfru@aol.com)Tue, 26 Nov 2002 15:35:15 -0500
(WARNING: Character Death, sarcasm, and general bizarreness abound. Please remove all beverages from the area before attempting to read this story.) TITLE: Silly Stories with Methos Author: Athos Email: lilkfru@aol.com Rating: PG Date: 11-2002 Archive: 7th D, everywhere else ask Category: Sillyness Status: Finished Series: God I hope not Characters: Methos, Richie, Duncan Summary: Hmm. . .Duncan gets turned into a Goldfish Snack Cracker. . .Sillyness abounds Notes: This lovely little train wreck is in response to the November 25th, 2002 Biweekly Crossover Challenge on HLGenFic. It’s what happens when I give my Methos muse free rein. . .be very afraid. Now Beta read by the wonderful Emma, so it actually makes sense! Disclaimers: Pepperidge Farms owns the Goldfish. Methos informs me no one owns him. . .Lawyers would probably argue different. And now it’s time for silly stories with Methos. . .the part of the show where Methos comes out and tells a silly story. . .Today’s Silly Story. . .Duncan MacLeod...Hero or Cheesy Cracker. Duncan MacLeod--Hero--yawned, stretched, and got out of bed. It was rather cold, but being a hero and all dictated that he keep a routine going so he pulled open a drawer, found his work out clothes and shrugged them on. Then he grabbed a slice of whole-wheat toast with a little peanut butter on it, a bottle of water, his keys and headed to the park for a run. Unfortunately for Duncan, not all was right in the world. An evil force had entered the world from a dimensional portal and was hell-bent on making mischief of one sort or another. Also Unfortunate for Duncan. . .The Evil wizard had decided to setup shop in the observatory at Seacouver Park. Of course Duncan didn't know this yet, but if he had, he'd probably still gone to the park for a run, because he was the hero and didn't let silly things like Evil Wizards stop him from his morning run. Erm. . .Yeah, where was I? Duncan in the Park. . .Right So. . .Duncan parked his classic T-bird, which he spent a small fortune on maintenance each year, at the far end of a parking lot so that it wouldn't get any door dings, and began his routines of manly stretches and general showing off for the women who ran in the park. When he was finished prancing around he got very serious, as heroes have a tendency to do, and set off on his run. He was rounding a bend in the trail near the observatory when he ran smack dab into the wizards, leveling the young man flat. "Hey, Get off!" the young man growled and pushed at Duncan. Duncan was of course shocked that there would be someone in the path to destroy his routine, but immediately began apologizing, because being a hero and all, one had to be utterly polite, especially when they leveled someone flat. "I'm very sorry," Duncan started. "I didn't see you there. Can I help you up?" The young Wizard, who was glad to have the great hulking weight off of him, decided to teach the man a lesson, besides being evil to him fit nicely into his plans of general mischief. So he pulled his magic wand from a fold in his robes and waved it at Duncan. "Goldfishimus Crackerus" The Wizard yelled, and a light shot out from the end of his wand. The first thing that Duncan thought was, this can't be happening. Magic wasn't canon in the Highlander Universe. Then of course Duncan remembered that other things that weren't exactly in part of the Highlander mythos had happened as well, and so he really couldn’t depend on that. And then everything was dark, and kind of cheesy smelling. Later that Day. . .. "Hey, Old Man, have you seen Duncan?" Richie asked as he opened the elevator door into the loft and made a beeline to the fridge. "Haven't seen him today," Methos replied. "Get me a beer, while you're there would you please?" "Sure thing." Richie grabbed another beer for Methos, one for himself, and headed for the couch. "I wonder where he could be," Richie said as he handed the beer to Methos. "I've no clue. He wasn't here when I let myself in around noon." "Hmm," Richie shrugged and since Duncan wasn't there to stop him, threw one leg over the side of a chair and the other up on coffee table and opened the box of crackers. "I love these little things," Richie told Methos after he caught Methos looking at him strangely. Methos took a handful and nodded, "The jingle is annoying, but catchy." They both began to sing," It's a jingle for gold fish, baked not fried gold fish, the whole some snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off. . ." With that both men bit into a cracker. Little did they know that one of the crackers was unfortunately Duncan. When the evil wizard had cursed him he turned Duncan into a goldfish cracker. A quickening of epic proportions swirled around the two men. Power filled the two men and overflowed into the surrounding furniture. The power caused both men to rise into the air and when it was finished, gravity reasserted itself the fell back to the earth with a plop. "Jeez, Richie! What the hell is in these things?" Methos exclaimed when he'd found his voice. Richie looked at the charred box and then at Methos and then back at the box. "Well it says they're flavor blasted." The End. . .