The Last Time We First Met - Part Six
by: Denise Underwood
c. 2001
Soon the two were seated at the large kitchen table in front of a merrily
crackling hearth. Triona had made tea and laid out everything from cheese
and fruit to cookies and cakes.
"You know," Triona said contemplatively, "as much as I love Imladris, and
our home there, I still find comfort in the familiarity of Earth and this
house. This kitchen brings back so many memories. I remember the first time
I saw it. Benjamin and I had been lost in a blizzard and we found
this...ruin. Something told me it would be important to us one day, so he
arranged to buy it. Little did I know."
"Benjamin, Dr. Adams. How does he fit into all this? He seems to have a
claim on your...affections as well," Picard said carefully.
"How politic of you, Jean-Luc," she said, smiling to take the sting out of
her words. "He does indeed, " she admitted. "We are married after all."
This last was dropped in casually.
"Married?" Picard seemed genuinely surprised at the news.
"As far as I know, the statute of limitations hasn't run out yet," Triona
replied wryly. "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc, I just assumed you knew."
"No, I had no idea."
"I am sorry," she said again, patting his hand across the table. "To answer
your question, yes, Benjamin turned my life upside down. And while he
became the cause of much stress between Lucien and myself, at the same
time, he's probably the reason I'm still alive." She tapped her finger on
the smooth, dark wood of the table, not quite sure how to explain.
"If it makes you uncomfortable...." he offered.
"No. No, it doesn't, not really. It's just that I still feel a little odd
trying to explain to mortals. I was so horrified with myself at the time.
Believe it or not, before I got mixed up with vampires, I was a woman of
fine, upstanding morals." She smiled self-deprecatingly. "Boy, did I do a
one eighty!"
She sipped at her tea while gathering her thoughts, Picard waiting
patiently for her to begin. Finally, she said, "I was living at an estate
LaCroix kept outside of Toronto. At first, I lived there alone with only
the servants. Then, after some upheavals in Lucien's life, he moved in as
well and I became more and more bound to him. Some months later, a man
showed up on our doorstep, who claimed to be an old friend of my Master's."
"Old friend?"
"Mmm, yes, though I thought he was a mere mortal at the time." Triona
smiled. "It turned out that he had saved LaCroix's life a century before in
San Francisco and that, in repayment for Benjamin's trouble, LaCroix agreed
to a forfeit at some unspecified time in the future." Pausing, she took a
deep breath and looked Picard in the eye. "That would have been me."
Triona choked back a laugh as the Captain made a vain attempt not to choke
on the bit of cracker he was swallowing. "It wasn't quite that bad,
Jean-Luc, honestly." He didn't look like he believed her.
"You have to understand that Lucien and Benjamin have known each other
since LaCroix was mortal. They have a...unique relationship. Frankly, there
are times when I could cheerfully throttle the both of them!" she said with
some heat. But her smile took the sting out of her threat.
"So, the forfeit, " Picard reminded her when she seemed to drift off. "And
how it wasn't like it sounded."
"Oh, yes, the forfeit. Benjamin mostly wanted to annoy Lucien, by calling
in this century old debt. And it worked." Triona shook her head. "Lucien
was not happy, but his word meant something and Benjamin knew it. It would
have all probably ended there, except that I fell in love with Lucien's
'old friend'. Something that still astounds me to this day!"
"And so your life became even more complicated," he observed adroitly.
"Oh yeah," she agreed. "Complicated and wonderful and frightening."
Suddenly, Triona's mood became pensive. Standing, she pushed her chair back
from the table. The sound of scraping wood against slate made a tearing
sound in the quiet of the kitchen. "And heart breaking," she said, twisting
the wedding band on her left ring finger.
She'd tried hard to keep thoughts of Methos from overwhelming her since
he'd left almost a year before. And mostly she'd been successful. It was
easy filling time when you had a an entire system to oversee, not to
mention a large family that demanded attention. The rest of her time had
been spent preparing for the birth of her daughter. Rarely had she let
thoughts of Methos intrude into her waking mind. But now, after a night of
telling Jean-Luc about her past, memories of her estranged husband would no
longer be held at bay.
Trying to pull herself together, Triona turned away, taking a steadying
breath. "I apologize. It's just... this has been harder than I thought it
would be. All these stories from my past. It brings back so many
memories." Once more looking at Picard, she found herself admitting, "It's
been a year since I've spoken to him." The pain was evident in her voice.
"I'm sorry, Triona." And she knew he was. Triona could *feel* his sincerity.
Shaking her head, she sat down once more. "It's okay. We'll deal with it,
or not. After more than four centuries, you think it would get easier...."
"But it doesn't," he finished.
"Not a bit of it."
**************
Picard shook his head. "I understand now why you told me on the Enterprise
that time that your life was complicated." He stood up, walking over to the
window and peering out. "As much as I thought I'd prepared myself for what
you might tell me, I must admit it's quite overwhelming." He looked over to
where she sat, a bemused expression on his face.
"Too overwhelming?" she asked, a touch of concern in her voice, worried
that what she'd told this man, who had come to mean so much to her, might
be more than he was willing to accept.
"No!" he answered forcefully, realizing that she was afraid on some level.
He sat down next to her, taking her hand. "Nothing you could tell me could
change my respect for you."
"You might not feel that way if you knew about some of the stupid and
selfish things I've done in my life." Triona looked slightly embarrassed.
"I'm not sure you see me as real person, Jean-Luc. A fallible human woman
despite it all. You see me through the prism of history, for my position,
even my age."
Picard began to object, but she forestalled him. "No, it's true. I can see
it in your eyes." She shook her head, trying to find the words. "It's
important to me that you see *me*. Not the Defense Minister of the Imladrin
Planetary Union. Not a founder of the Federation. Not even as an Immortal."
"I'm sorry, Triona. But you need to give me time to absorb all this." He
brushed her cheek with one finger, saying softly, "It might be better if I
didn't see you as an approachable human woman."
Triona bit her lip, her eyes sad. "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc," she whispered. "I
never intended...."
"Shhh...." He interrupted her apology. "It is better this way. I know that
and so do you. You don't need another lover in your life." She shook her
head, unable to deny his words. "But a friend? Somehow I don't think that
you make room for friends in your life any more than I do. There's always
some duty or responsibility to take the time we should set aside for
friendship."
Triona nodded. "And, outside my family, few I could trust...."
"And the ones you could trust led brief mortal lives and died," he finished
for her. "It must make it hard to let yourself feel sometimes."
She didn't answer, just leaned against his shoulder, allowing herself for
just a moment to wonder what it would be like if she could be more than
just friends with him. Sighing, she pushed the fantasy firmly away. He
deserved more than she could offer, that she knew. And that she would
remember. "Friends? I think I'd like that. More than you know." Triona
tilted her head up to look at him, answering the unspoken question in his
eyes. "Yes, it is worth the pain, Jean-Luc."
"I'm glad," he said simply, putting his arm around her shoulders lightly.
Triona looked at him appraisingly. "I think it's time for you to hear a
less flattering story from my past. I suppose friends need to know the good
and the bad." She swallowed nervously. "This falls under the category of
selfish and stupid. Probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done in
my life....
***********
Denise * ithildin@ondragonswing.com* Ith
http://www.ondragonswing.com
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