In The Dark by Dawn Cunningham - part 5 of 7 For disclaimers, see part 1. ***************************************** Once Richie was safely back in his room, Duncan retrieved his sword and headed out to Tessa's workshop. He knew that going back to sleep would be impossible, so he decided to do a kata instead. Slowly, he started through the motions, trying to empty his mind and concentrate on each movement, but it seemed impossible. If only he could battle Richie's blindness with a sword - then, maybe, he could accomplish something. He just didn't know how to handle this situation, and so far, everything that he had tried had only made things worse. Even if Richie's sight did come back, his relationship with the teenager had taken a definite blow. It would be another tough battle to regain Richie's trust and friendship. What had ever made him think he was up to the task of looking after a teenager? Of guiding him into becoming a mature, responsible adult who would be able to handle the daunting task of being an Immortal someday? It had seemed so simple when he'd promised Connor that he would look after Richie. Maybe he was having so many problems because it had been almost four centuries since he'd been Richie's age. Tessa, on the other hand, always seemed to understand what Richie was thinking or feeling. She knew when to humor the teenager, and when to scold. Richie seemed to go out of his way to please Tessa. That didn't mean they didn't have their clashes, but they usually got past them fairly quickly. He was going to have to let Tessa try her magic. If she couldn't get through to Richie, then no one could. ***** Tessa took a deep breath, feeling like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. It wasn't fair that Duncan had decided she should try to talk to Richie. The young man practically hero-worshipped the Scot, and listened to almost anything he had to say. Plus, Duncan had four hundred years of experience. He should be the one doing this. They could have a man-to-man talk. Half the time, she didn't have a clue about what to say to a teenage boy. In some ways, she had been thrown into motherhood feet first. Most women had a chance to learn, on the job you might say, as their children grew up. They didn't have a seventeen-year-old boy suddenly appear in their life. She took another deep breath, then knocked on Richie's door. She knew the young man was awake since Duncan had just come back from putting medication in Richie's eyes. "Come in," Richie's resigned voice called out. She opened the door, and went inside. Richie was lying on his bed, but he sat up as she walked over to join him. He leaned back against the headboard while she took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I brought you some muffins and hot chocolate. Duncan said you had breakfast very early this morning, so I thought you might want a snack to tide you over until lunch." "Isn't this against Mac's rules? I thought I was supposed to feed myself, or go hungry." "Please, Richie, I wish we could just forget about what happened last night. It was a really bad idea, and we should never have done it. Will you accept my apology?" The young man shrugged, then said, "Sure... I guess..." Not the most convincing answer. Tessa almost shoved the plate she was still holding into Richie's hands. "Here, have a muffin. I'll put the hot chocolate right here on your nightstand." He gave her a little smile as he set the plate on his lap, then reached for one of the muffins. "Thanks, Tessa." "And if there is anything you need, you just ask for it. Understand?" Richie nodded, his mouth too full to say anything. "Good." Tessa took a deep breath, but before she could start on the more difficult subject, Richie swallowed his food, and interrupted her. "Does Mac agree to that?" Richie paused for a moment, then blurted out, "I don't think he likes me much anymore." "That's not true!" Tessa protested. "He's just a little... disappointed by your decision to commit suicide." "Yeah, I've been a disappointment to a lot of people in my life," Richie responded, past hurt evident in his words. "That is *not* what I mean. He's not disappointed in you - he's disappointed by your decision. He has never understood why mortals would cut their - to him - already short lives even shorter. You are only eighteen, Richie, and you want to end your life before you've really had a chance to live it. "I don't want to be blind," Richie said in a small voice. Tessa quickly moved up to the head of the bed, so she could put her arm around Richie's shoulders. "No one *wants* to be blind, but it isn't the end of the world. Duncan and I will not abandon you, no matter what." "But that's not fair to you and Mac. You have your own life, and the last thing you need is someone who's totally helpless." "Don't you *dare* think that you are doing this for Duncan and me!" Tessa protested, angrily. "You are our friend, and friends help each other through the hard times. Besides, you won't be totally helpless. There are special schools that will teach you how to be independent. You might even be able to get a seeing eye dog which would make it easier to get around. And the doctor also mentioned corneal transplants if your eyes are too damaged. I don't know how long you'd have to wait for that, but it's still a hope for the future. And they are always coming up with new treatments. As long as you are alive, there is always hope." Tessa paused, and waited to see if any of what she had said had made an impact on Richie. It was so hard to tell when you couldn't see his eyes because of the bandages. All she could tell was that his shoulders were stiff and tense. When the young man remained quiet, she decided to try one more thing. "Will you at least think about your decision, Richie? And talk to us before you do anything final? Please?" Richie nodded. "I'll... I'll think about it, Tessa." His answer confused her. Was he going to think about his decision, or was he going to think about talking to them before he committed suicide? Either way, she didn't want to push him too much. They still had several days before their appointment with the doctor. "Thank you," she said, kissing his cheek. "Now finish up your muffins and hot chocolate. I'll be back to get you for lunch." "No, I can come out to the kitchen by myself," Richie said. "You just need to let me know when it's lunchtime. I can't tell what time it is." "Of course," Tessa said with a sinking heart as she stood up. It sounded like she had failed, too. Richie was still being stubborn about doing things for himself. "If you need anything, we won't be far away." She kissed his cheek again, then headed for the door. Before she left the room, she turned and looked back at Richie. "There is one more thing you should think about, Richie - the pain you will cause those you leave behind. This isn't just about you. Duncan and I would be devastated by your death." With that, she quickly left the room before she burst into tears. She went out to the antique store. Duncan was busy with a customer, but he looked in her direction, hope written all over his face. She shook her head and his disappointment was very evident to her. He turned back to the customer, while she decided to go back to the apartment. ***** Saturday: Duncan lowered the newspaper he had been reading when he heard Richie's bedroom door open. A few moments later, the teenager appeared, headed for the kitchen. "Good morning, Richie," he called out. The young man jumped, obviously startled by the sudden noise. "Geez, Mac, don't do that to a guy." "Sorry. I just wanted to let you know I was here. Can I make you breakfast? Pancakes? Eggs? An omelet?" Tessa had made it quite clear that he was to do anything Richie asked. "No, I can manage." Richie continued on toward the kitchen. Duncan watched as the young man fumbled his way around the kitchen as he fixed his meal which consisted of muffins and orange juice. It took a great deal of willpower to sit there and watch without going over and helping out. Even though Tessa had told him that she had straightened everything out with Richie, the teenager still insisted on doing most things by himself. Duncan could almost feel the chasm between himself and the teenager widening by the minute. He just didn't know what to do about it. The one thing he had finally decided on was that he wouldn't stand by and let Richie swallow the sleeping pills. He still had hopes that the teenager would make that decision on his own, but if the news was bad, Duncan had every intention of searching Richie's bedroom and bathroom to remove any possible means of committing suicide. Duncan knew that would probably be the final step in alienating Richie, but he couldn't stand by and let the young man try to end his life. It would be up to Tessa to help Richie make the adjustments necessary to live in a dark world. He would do as much as he could, but it would have to be done subtly so that Richie wouldn't reject his help. They just had to get through the next forty-eight hours before they would know whether Richie could see again. It seemed like an eternity. Today they had the shop to look after, but tomorrow they were closed. Maybe Tessa could come up with some idea that would make the time fly. "Good morning," Tessa called out as she walked into the living room. She paused when she saw Richie in the kitchen, then hurried over to Duncan's side. "Why aren't you fixing Richie's breakfast?" she whispered in an angry tone. "I offered," Duncan protested, "and he refused. What else could I do?" "You could have tried harder!" Tessa hurried over to the kitchen. "Richie, why don't you let me fix you a hot breakfast?" "The muffins are plenty, Tessa. I don't need a hot breakfast." "Are you sure? It wouldn't be a problem to fix something." "I'm sure." "If you insist." Tessa poured herself a cup of coffee as she glanced at the clock. "It's time to open the shop," she reminded Duncan. The Scot stood up, folding the paper and setting it down on the chair. "I'm on my way." Tessa cleaned up the kitchen after Richie had finished his breakfast and headed back to his room. She wished she could come up with some task that would give the teenager something to do to occupy his time. Sitting in his room all day had to be extremely boring. Finally, she headed for the antique store, stopping in the office to check her planner to see if anything had been scheduled for the day. There was only one entry for the day, and the moment she read it, her stomach started churning. How could she have forgotten that? Jennifer Mitchell was one of the first people she'd met when she'd moved to Seacouver, and they'd become the best of friends. Tonight was her engagement party, and Tessa had promised to be there. "Duncan, tonight is Jennifer's engagement party, and I promised we would be there. What are we going to do?" "We're going to be there," Duncan responded. "I don't see what the problem is." "Richie." Tessa stared at her lover, unable to believe he didn't understand. "We can't leave him alone, and I am positive he will not want to go with us." Duncan frowned. "We wouldn't have to stay that long. Richie probably wouldn't mind being on his own for a while. And if he does, then I can stay here, and you can go to the party. For that matter, I'm sure Jennifer would understand if you explained we couldn't be there because of Richie's accident." "I'd hate to disappoint them." Tessa gave a sigh. "I'll go talk to Richie and see if he would mind being left alone for a while." She headed for Richie's room, and knocked at his door. When he called out, she opened the door and went inside. "Richie, my friend Jennifer's engagement party is tonight, and I promised to be there, but that was before your accident. Duncan said he would stay home with you, if you don't want to be left alone." "I don't need a babysitter!" Richie protested. "I'm perfectly capable of being by myself." "I just hate the thought of you being by yourself right now." "Why? Are you afraid I'll kill myself while you're gone?" Richie said, somewhat cynically. "Of course not! That was the last thing on my mind! It's just that so many things could go wrong, and if you can't..." "If I can't see?" Richie finished her sentence. "That might be a way of life for me from now on. I might as well get used to it." Tessa hugged him. "I hope you don't have to get used to it at all!" Richie clung tightly to her for a moment before releasing her. "So, you and Mac go out and have a good time. Just forget about me. I'll be fine on my own." Tessa tweaked his chin. "Richie, you are unforgettable. Very well, we will go, but we won't stay too long." "Stay as long as you want. It's no problem." ***** Richie practically had to shove Duncan and Tessa out the door to get them to go to the party. He'd been alone at night before, so he really didn't think this would be any different. But it didn't take long to change his mind. There was something about not being able to see that caused every noise to echo through the place. Logically, he knew there was little chance that someone would try to break into the antique store - at least at this time of the night. Most thieves waited until much later at night when people would normally be asleep. On the other hand, there was no telling when another Immortal intent on wreaking havoc and mayhem might show up. And what could he do if someone did break in? He'd never felt more helpless in his life. Maybe it would be different if he'd been blind longer. Then maybe he would feel more comfortable in his surroundings. Finally, he headed for his bedroom, shutting the door behind him, then turned on his CD player, setting the volume high enough to cover any other noise. He went over to his bed and sat down, but couldn't decide if that was any better. It was almost like being in a horror movie. His overactive imagination could easily picture someone sneaking through the apartment, slowly opening his bedroom door, and coming up behind him, knife ready to plunge into his unsuspecting back. With a gasp, Richie hurried over to his CD player and shut it off. He wanted to be able to hear if someone was coming. He'd give up just about anything right now to hear Duncan's voice. Then he'd know there was nothing to fear. But he knew he wouldn't hear it - it could be hours before he was back. Suddenly, that seemed like an eternity. In the quiet, his brain had too much time to think. He was alone. There was little to no chance of Duncan and Tessa returning this early. He could remove his bandages, and no one would know. He could see if his sight was starting to come back. Almost without realizing it, his hands reached for the bandages. It took a great effort to move his hands back down to his lap. What if he couldn't see? Did he want to face that on his own? What if he caused more damage to his eyes by trying to see too early? Surely, a little peek wouldn't do that? But how would he know? His hands reached for the bandages again, but he suddenly pictured Tessa and Duncan watching him, and their disapproving faces. It was enough to change his mind. He had to find something to do to keep his mind off the temptation. Richie decided to go back out to the living room. He was definitely moving around the apartment much easier now, and he paused in the alcove to turn on the television set. His next stop was the kitchen. Some snacks and some television should keep his irrational fears at bay. It took some time for him to find something that met his strict standards of junk food. The last thing he wanted was something that would be healthy for him. Potato chips and soda in hand, he headed back to the alcove and got comfortable on the small sofa there. It was frustrating to just listen to the television. He'd tuned in to one of his favorite comedy shows, but often there would be laughter from the audience that he couldn't understand. Finally, he reached for the remote and changed the channel. The next channel was a show about serial killers. "Bad choice," he muttered to himself, quickly changing channels. The next channel had a horror movie on. The suspenseful music sent a chill down his spine, and he continued his search. Listening to weather forecasts was boring. The same was true of the basketball game that was on. He finally ended up listening to a history channel that was talking about the civil war. It made him wonder what Duncan had been doing during that time. Had he even been in the United States? Maybe he would ask the Scot about it. Suddenly, Richie chuckled. At any other time, he'd flee from anything that resembled a school lesson, and here he was, thinking about pursuing the subject. Of course, if his teachers had been able to bring in Immortals like Duncan to tell them about historical events, they might have been able to hold his attention long enough to learn something. After the show was over, he clicked through the channels again, settling on the local news. At least that told him it was 11:00. Duncan and Tessa should be getting home soon. They'd promised it would be no later than midnight, but he had a feeling they would not be that late. end of part 5